The other day I was at someone's house who had an offspring that is at the age where it can say a couple of words, put on hats, and vomit unnecessarily.

Before I carry on, I should perhaps address the fact that I just referred to a human being as an 'it'.  Babies aren't real human beings.  We put up with them because we don't really have a choice, but most of us would be perfectly happy if babies came out of the womb able to talk, use the bathroom, and maybe even hold down a good job.  Or at least the men would be perfectly happy.

Babies might seem like a bundle of joy to some, but to me they just seem like a bag of bodily excretions with a slow leak.  If I thought dribble was cute, I would spend a lot more time in old age homes.  

Anyways, there were some picture books lying around the room, and because there is a new social trend in which adults read books which are clearly meant for children (Harry Potter and Twilight come to mind), I thought I best pick up one of the books and give it a read so that I could fit in with the rest of modern society.

The book was about six pages, had a sentence per page, and didn't exactly have any particularly grabbing narrative which would make you get to the end of the book and think, "Awww... if only there was a sequel - I really want to know what other sounds animals on a farm can make."

This definitely wasn't going to end up as a suggestion in Oprah's Book Club anytime soon, but what did strike me as interesting was that it wasn't the first edition of the book - meaning, this book had been successful enough to be published numerous times.

It's hard not to be inspired by the concept of writing six sentences, calling it children’s book, and being published, so, I figure I want in on this.  I'm going to need illustrations - feel free to contact me in order to send me pictures, but in the meantime, here is a children's book I quickly wrote...

Warren the lion

Warren the lion needed a break.
He was tired of always eating steak.
So Warren flew to the Great Barrier Reef.
The airhostess could only offer 'beef'.
Finally Warren tried fish at the coast.
He didn't like it, so now he just eats toast.

Oh yes, in a couple of weeks you'll be able to pick this up in Exclusive Books!