It’s the fourth instalment of our tour diary, brought to you by Springfree Trampoline.  This week’s diary will cover our second week of shows at the Edinburgh Fringe.

10th August 2010 (Tuesday)

If you were to arrive in Edinburgh at this time of year and have no idea what season you were meant to be in, you’d probably assume you were experiencing a lazy winter.  The weather isn’t particularly sunny, and you’re almost guaranteed rain every day, you’re just not sure when.  I guess you could say Edinburgh suffers from seasonal Tourettes – it’s predominantly drizzly and overcast, but every now and again it blurts out sun in a wildly unpredictable fashion.  It’s probably always wise to prepare for the worst, because you may leave your flat in shorts and slops after being lured into a sense of false security by the sun, but more than likely you’ll be caught in a downpour fifteen minutes later.

[A little travel tip.  Don’t wear slops (aka flip flops) in Edinburgh.  I’ve been caught in the rain in slops twice now, and the city is surprisingly slippery.  It might not look like it, but I imagine on a good day, you could probably put on a wet suit, dive onto the road, and proceed to slide from one side of town to the other in under a minute.]

The city is incredibly beautiful.  You seem to always be about five minutes away from a castle, or at the very least, something that looks like a castle.  It’s also incredibly clean – which is saying quite a lot because during festival time the city is littered with people handing out fliers, but yet somehow not littered by the fliers themselves.  Either people really like collecting fliers, or they’re actually edible and no-one has bothered to tell me.

I’m not playing a weird game of Where’s Wally except with homeless people, but I have noticed that Edinburgh does seem to have more homeless people than London.  The Edinburgh homeless people are quite creative though.  In Cape Town, the most you’ll get is a homeless person dressed up as a chicken, or a clown, and even then, there are rumours that those people are less homeless than they are actually drug dealers.  In Edinburgh, I’ve seen a homeless man standing upside down with his head in a bucket, and a piece of cardboard in front of him saying that if his silly actions make you smile, please give him some money.  Considering his head is in a bucket, it must be hard for him to tell how well he’s doing each day, and I imagine it can’t be too long before he begins to feel sick from being upside down.  Perhaps that’s what the bucket is for.  Either way, I’m almost certain he’ll win Best Newcomer at the Fringe Comedy Awards this year.

Today we did a bit of a Fringe comedy binge.  In the afternoon we watched Tony Law and Kevin Eldon at The Stand, we played our show, ate supper, and then watched an American musician/comedian called Lach, followed by Jason Chong’s Minority Retort, both entertaining, and both at The Gilded Balloon.

This was also the day I tried haggis.  Now, apparently haggis is essentially off-cuts cooked in a sheep’s stomach, and although that doesn’t sound appealing in any way, what I ate seemed totally passable as food.  It wasn’t in a sheep’s stomach, it was simply served with neeps (turnips) and mash (an American TV series centered around a team of doctors in the Korean War).

Whilst we were eating our supper, a man and his two daughters came up to us and asked us what we were doing.  It’s a fair question, because we seldom go home after our show to change, so we’re normally dressed in suits, and I imagine men in suits sitting on a park bench trying to ascertain what exactly was in my haggis, might look rather peculiar.  It turns out he’s the one man in a one man show called Kafka and Son, and he invited us to go watch it the next day for free, and we told him about our show and returned the favour.  It also turns out that he had something to do with Tropical Heat, which is no small claim to fame as far as I’m concerned.  Tropical Heat was the one with Nic and Spider, not to be confused with Acapulco Heat, the one with Fabio which purveyors of the English language had to watch in simulcast.  Which, seems rather peculiar, because I’m almost certain it wasn’t originally shot in Afrikaans.  That said, I imagine if Fabio released a Bokjol album, it would probably do quite well.

11th August (Wednesday)

I’m going to assume that Tuesday was a late night at The Loft, because I can’t recall what we actually did in the morning, so I’m guessing we slept in.  If my morning reports seem remarkably empty, it’s either because I was writing a blog, or because I was sleeping having gone to bed round 3 or 4 in the morning in a desperate attempt to fit in with the locals.  I’m not sure why it’s the case, but almost everyone in Edinburgh seems to stay up till the early hours of the morning, as if the concept of sleeping is much like the concept of eating fruit – it’s just not Scottish.

Over a week ago we had ordered clear CD cases off Amazon, and they had sent us the wrong ones.  The mistake was recognised and we were sent the correct cases, but we weren’t home when they were delivered, and so someone in our complex signed for them on our behalf.  The problem is, that person never bothered to try let us know he had done this, and the only piece of information we had was an sms from the delivery man telling us that a man named Xerxes had our cases.  Now there was an obvious problem with this, and that was I highly doubt that the Persian King from 300 would have had the time in his busy schedule to put down his sword, stop fighting the Spartans, and accept a delivery from Amazon.  So we were not quite sure what to do, but fortunately I bumped into the King on my way out, and we retrieved the cases.

Today was the day we also went to go see Tim Vine.  Which was a bit of a problem, considering Tim Vine’s show wasn’t on.

We sat in an admittedly worryingly small queue which consisted of only us for about ten minutes, before we asked someone whether we were in the right venue, and they said we were in the right venue, but on the wrong day.  For some reason we had all incorrectly thought our tickets were for Wednesday, when in actual fact they were for Thursday, and Wednesday was his night off.

Not all was lost though, because at The Loft that evening I actually ended up meeting Tim Vine and having a conversation with him about keeping cats off your lawn, and our family’s current problems with guinea fowl.  I don’t think guinea fowl are very common in Britain, because he seemed fairly confused as to where on earth this would ever be a problem.  I also gave him a Brothers Streep album, because I figured out of all the performers at Fringe, he would probably appreciate our album the most.

Before heading off to The Loft though, we made up for our stupidity by going to watch Dead Cat Bounce and H Anthony Hildebrand again.  Which incidentally, is the exact way we spent last week Thursday.

12th August 2010 (Thursday)

Something which has struck me with most of the comedy I’ve seen so far, is that a lot of it has been  incredibly uplifting and positive.  Recently some of the bigger names in comedy have been bringing out quite a lot of material which seems to focus on the downside of life, and furthermore there has been a trend in which stand-up comedy has become a pulpit for atheism, but in an arrogant and aggressive way, rather than simply sharing a different belief.

It’s been incredibly refreshing seeing shows in which the humour derives from the positive aspects of life, and it’s been great to see how many comedians have chosen to start expressing their problems with religion in a far less condescending manner.  I think there is a place for gritty comedy, and raw self-expression, but I’m glad stand-up comedy is coming back to being more about the comedy than standing up for something.  In particular, I would say it would be incredibly hard to walk out of James Dowdeswell, Greg Davies or Tim Vine without feeling like life is good.

And speaking of Tim Vine and Greg Davies, this was the night we got to see their shows.  After their show we... you guessed it... went to The Loft, and then we caught the last few acts of Late n Live – a late night comedy show at The Gilded Balloon which only kicks off at 1am, and finishes many hours later when the house band eventually passes out.  The line-up that night included Patrick Monahan as the MC, the Nelson Twins, Tom Allen and Pete Johansson as the other comedians.

13th August 2010 (Friday)

I was told by someone that time in Edinburgh would just blur together.  Considering I have no idea what happened on Friday, I think it’s safe to assume this person was correct.  I know that in the evening we went to go see Reginald D Hunter and Bo Burham at Pleasance, but that’s all I really remember.

14th August 2010 (Saturday)

Sometimes in life you need to build a Springfree Trampoline.

For those new to this blog, our whole UK tour was sponsored by a company called Springfree Trampoline, so they’re the financial reason we’ve been able to come to Edinburgh and perform at the Fringe.  They’ve been kind enough to sponsor our tour, and all they asked in return is that we’d write them a song, and mention them in our show.  And yes, I know it’s normally frowned upon when bands partner with companies, but as we say at each performance, it’s one way to have a “sell-out” Fringe show.

In all seriousness, it’s been an absolute pleasure working with Springfree, and we’re really grateful to them for helping us in this way.  It’s also great to be sponsored by such an incredibly arbitrary product – it really works well with the image that we’ve been creating for ourselves over the past few years.  We’re the type of band that could never be sponsored by something normal like a car.  But if it were a wheel free car, then welcome on board!

We spent Saturday morning putting together the Springfree trampoline we had been sent.  It’s too big to fit on our stage, so instead we’ve been telling people to look out for us and come jump with us by the Meadows opposite our flat.  Before we could make an official day of it, we had to test run setting the trampoline up.  It’s actually not too difficult to assemble, although, Hugh ended up doing most of the work, because halfway through erecting the trampoline, Dyl and I had to do an interview on a student radio station.  The interview went well, and by the time we were back, the trampoline was standing ready next to a very fatigued Hugh.

We jumped around a bit, and ended up attracting quite a bit of attention because the trampoline looks a bit like a UFO, and I’m sure seeing a UFO on a field propelling people upwards into the air, would be something you’d look closer to inspect.  Some adults and children even took the trampoline out for a test run themselves, and all seemed pretty impressed that something without springs could actually work as a trampoline.  We were then shut down by the local church on account of witchcraft.  (Not true.)

That evening we went to see the full show of Boy With Tape On His Face - it’s absolutely amazing, and if Boy With Tape On His Face doesn’t win awards, then I shall put tape on my face for a whole day in protest.  (Fortunately this is an easy way to take a stand.  It would be harder if his name was Boy With Piranhas On His face.)

15th August 2010 (Sunday)

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this yet, but we’re sharing our flat with Aidan Bishop, a comedian from Ireland who spent a lot of time in the States but returned to Ireland to take over this very successful comedy club called The International.

It’s hard to explain Aidan, and if I asked him to describe himself, he’d probably just say something like, “I’m Aidan Bishop”.  He’s a really great guy, full of good comedy advice, and he’s been incredibly easy to live with, despite the fact that he looks a bit like Dexter and seems like he could cut you to pieces in your sleep.  I’m waiting for the day I come home to find the lounge covered in plastic, and a comedy critic lying on a slab pleading for mercy.

Aidan’s a perfectionist when it comes to his act, so he actually banned us from watching his show until he thought it was ready.  Luckily it was ready before Hugh had to leave, so this was the evening we all went to go watch Aidan’s show – which, and I’m not just saying this because I live with him, was an incredibly funny hour.

We also went to watch The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre, which is exactly what you think it would be - sock puppets with thick Scottish falsetto voices.  When I say the show was silly, I mean it as a compliment – it reminded me a bit of the Muppets in places, which if you know me well, means I really enjoyed the show.

Monday was our day off, and it was also going to be Hugh’s birthday, so we did our very best to see it in in style.  Which is another way of saying I only got home at about 7am in the morning.

16th August 2010 (Monday)

Despite the late night, I woke up bright and early to try get tickets for a recording of my favourite BBC radio show, The Unbelievable Truth.  I was told there were no tickets left, so I went back to sleep.  I woke up again, phoned again, and still no tickets.  So... I got up, showered, and made my way to the Assembly gardens to see if I could sneak in.  And I did.

Host David Mitchell was joined by Rhod Gilbert, Tom Wrigglesworth, Kevin Bridges and Lucy Porter.  Each show, which on radio runs for thirty minutes, took about an hour to record.  This is not because people kept on making mistakes, but rather because Rhod Gilbert was very buzzer happy, and seemed to like getting into amusing arguments with David Mitchell.  Needless to say, I was once again aware of how blessed I was to be in Edinburgh, sitting in an audience, watching the recording of a show I’ve listened to for about two years, thinking ‘Wow, I could have never foreseen experiencing this”.

When the show finished I realised it was late afternoon, and I had had nothing to eat or drink all day.  I also had less than thirty minutes to get to the Gilded Balloon to meet up with the others before our next show, so on the walk back I had breakfast/lunch which in this case happened to be an ice-cream with a flake.  And believe it or not, as fate would have it, I bought this ice-cream from a vendor called Mr Whippy.

That evening we went on Hugh’s last comedy binge, so our next shows were The Unexpected Items, Princess Cabaret, The Willy Wonka Sessions Explained, and So You Think You’re Funny hosted by Jarred Christmas.  In short, all the shows were great, and I now have a crush on Tinkerbell.