I haven't seen March of the Penguins, but I've seen clips, and it seems majestic.  It could just be the soft soothing tone of Morgan Freeman's narration, but what I've seen makes me want to settle down and start my own penguin colony.

But these are the emperor penguins of Antarctica.  I'm not an expert on aquatic flightless birds, but it seems that all South African penguins do is defecate on rocks.

The penguins we get here in South Africa are known simply as African penguins.  These boulder decorating penguins used to be called Jackass penguins, but the name changed to African penguins in an effort to make the two words synonymous and open up the possibility of 'South Africa' then being changed to 'South Jackassica'.

The African Penguin is a protected species, which is incredibly lucky for them, because it means they can secretly build up their army without the threat of it being stopped.

Their militant core began when a pair of African Penguins were spotted on Foxy Beach at Boulders, Cape Town in 1985.  They very quickly set up base by laying as many eggs as they possibly could - being penguins, their strength can only really lie in numbers, as opposed to their ability to operate weapons.  Since then, Project Foxy Beach has grown at a rate of about 60% a year - ten years ago, our government took a survey and the Boulders naval base was about 2350 penguins strong.  Penguins might practise monogamy, but it seems they also don't shy away from incest.

Thus far they have only managed to invade their neighbours gardens, destroyed their undergrowth and just generally been very noisy and messy - but I believe that's exactly how Adolf Hitler started, so it's not too long until they invade Hout Bay.

For those not familiar with Cape Town, Hout Bay is a coastal suburb in Cape Town which for years has been insisting on becoming a republic and breaking away from the rest of South Africa.

In comparison to the rest of South Africa, Hout Bay is a speck.  Which is why I think we should let them break away and form their own little country.  Hopefully they wouldn't have too long to celebrate their independence, before the penguins invade them.  That'd serve them right!

Hey, if prawns can settle a space ship over Johannesburg, penguins can invade Hout Bay.