One of my friends recently exclaimed that her friend was getting her appendix removed.  Because this conversation took place on the Internet, the implied shock was enforced by the letters 'OMW' - which has taken to mean 'Oh My Word', a variation of 'OMS' - 'Oh My Sac' and 'OMG' - 'Oh My Garter'.

The frenzy of excitement that had overtaken my friend seemed somewhat misplaced.  If anything, this is what we have come to expect of the appendix.  Generally, all an appendix does is waste away inside your body, and sometimes, it explodes.

It's not even an impressive explosion.  If the person next to you suddenly has their appendix explode, you are unlikely to get hurt in the resulting shrapnel.  Even the person whose appendix explodes is unlikely to die from the explosion - fair enough, they will have to spend a night in hospital, but they will live to tell the tale.  A rather dull tale at that.

"And that's when the tank burst into flames, which is why I earned that medal for bravery."

"That's nothing Grandad - my appendix exploded."

"Shut up boy."

If you're looking to impress someone with an appendix related story, getting your appendix removed isn't going to do the job.  A far more interesting story, would be deliberately putting another appendix in.

Now I'm not sure where I learnt this, but I was always under the impression that the appendix existed because back in the old days, human's used to sometimes end up eating things which the body wasn't quite sure what to do with - so it would save it in the appendix, you know, for a special occasion.  So, say for example you were tucking into a dinosaur, but you accidently ate the fork you were using, the appendix would be the proud owner of some new cutlery.

Unless I'm mistaken, most people believe a similar thing - the appendix is basically the body's own personal recycle bin - all the trash you don't need goes to the recycle bin, but when you click 'empty recycle bin', that's when you end up in hospital.

And that's why I tend to judge people who need to get their appendix removed.  When I hear someone needs an appendectomy, I always wonder what on earth they've been eating to get them in that predicament.  I can't help but imagine that person finishing their supper and thinking, "Well, that was a tasty chicken, but for dessert, let's see what's in the vacuum cleaner."

But don't worry - I don't really discriminate.  Some of my best friends have had appendectomies.