Posts filtered by category: Life
Picture books
[ Posted on 1 March 2010 in Life by Simon Streep ]
The other day I was at someone's house who had an offspring that is at the age where it can say a couple of words, put on hats, and vomit unnecessarily.
Trapped in the bathroom
[ Posted on 22 February 2010 in Life by Simon Streep ]
On Friday night I became trapped in a bathroom. It wasn’t a literal trapping - there wasn’t some sort of bathroom lockdown that occurred which prevented me to leave, and no-one had set a bear trap in the cubical or anything, it was more of a social trapping.
Starfish
[ Posted on 19 February 2010 in Life by Simon Streep ]
One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a small boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean.
The Post-Gig Awkward Conversation
[ Posted on 10 February 2010 in Life by Simon Streep ]
“You guys were really entertaining,” says fan.
“Thank you very much – glad you enjoyed the show,” says me.
“....”
“....”
“....”
Fan shuffles off to the side.
Steve
[ Posted on 29 January 2010 in Life by Simon Streep ]
I think it’s about time I wrote about my friend Steve Walter. He is one of only fourteen people who have intentionally gone over the Niagara Falls in a barrel. And that little fact, is probably one of the most uninteresting facts about Steve’s life.
Dyl Streep's Rant & Rave: School Plays
[ Posted on 19 January 2010 in Life by Dylan Streep ]
With Anna Paquin's narrow miss of two Golden Globe's recently, I feel that it's time for me to discuss in great detail my acting career thus far. Actually it won't be in great detail but only because I can't remember that far back. It will, however, start at the beginning...So, my friends, here is a rant about School Plays...
Sport
[ Posted on 2 December 2009 in Life by Simon Streep ]
My sporting career started back in junior school. I’m not sure whether cricket or soccer came first, but I know I was better at soccer. I know this because I actually remember playing a couple of soccer matches, whereas I only remember ever playing one cricket match.
I remember two things from the solitary cricket match I played. The first thing is that they cleverly had me up to bat last. I thought it would be funny to walk out with thigh pads on both my thighs, and I assume the opposing team thought it was funny too, because I didn’t go out first ball.
Hello Mr Hiccups
[ Posted on 24 November 2009 in Life by Simon Streep ]
It's time to learn more about hiccups. According to Wikipedia, it's pronounced 'hɪkʌp', but considering I don't read Russian, I'm not sure how that's meant to help.
Hiccups have only been around since the 1800s. Before hiccups existed, everyone just used to get on with life, uninterrupted by the spasmodic contraction of the diaphragm. The shift from a world without hiccups, to the current hiccupian society we live in today, is seen by many, especially Al Gore, to be the result of Global Yawning.
Dyl Streep's Rant & Rave: Brights
[ Posted on 20 November 2009 in Life by Dylan Streep ]
Hey gang, it has been a while since I ranted and/or raved about anything. I apologise. So I'll just get straight to the point. Why don't people turned their stupid brights off when they are driving in my direction?!
Pain or Poetry?..
[ Posted on 8 November 2009 in Life by Fylan Streep ]
When I was in grade 5, Brett “The Hitman” Heart came to my school. I presume it was to give some sort of inspirational lecture, in which he probably encouraged all present to ‘follow their dreams’ and ‘be the best they can be’. I presume, because I didn’t go.
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Tim S. Streep “She informed me the band were reall...”