Banter Clause

The Brothers Streep
  1. Banter Clause -:-- / 02:03

Words and Music by

I never thought I’d say this but don’t leave milk and cookies
I’ve changed my ways it’s time to update all the Christmas bookies
The truth is that I’d rather you leave milk and nuts instead
Cause Santas changed his eating habits so he wouldn’t end up dead

I went to the doctor, he said I should be wise
He didn’t call me fat but he did say I should downsize
He told me of a diet that would help me weigh far less
Though he warned me it would make me an annoying dinner guest

You see… Santa’s become a banter
I am now gluten free
I’m avoiding carbs and sugar, Tim Noakes would be proud of me
And now I’ll spread the word to anybody that I see
‘Cause us banters like to share our ways with everyone we meet

My reindeer like it more cause they’ve got a lighter load
The elves like it more cause they can borrow my clothes
Chimneys like it more, ’cause the bricks don’t ever crack
And Mrs Clause likes it more cause I’m better in the…

Santa, not in front of the kids?
What? Sack race!

You see… Santa’s become a banter
No mince pies for me
No stuffing from the turkey, no potatoes nor honey
No Christmas cake, no Ferrero Rocher, nothing remotely sweet
On second thoughts, I’ve got a plan, Christmas is my cheat week!