Words and Music by
DYLAN HICHENS AND SIMON VAN WYK
You’re probably not too tired, you probably could push on
Unfortunately for you an intermission’s come along
You may not yet be thirsty, you may not want to eat
There’s a good chance that you’re annoyed you have to leave your seat
The break will never make the second half any stronger
But you paid a lot of money and at least it’ll make the show feel longer
And what you do not realise while the interval unfolds
The entire cast, has been asked, to save the world
Flying to the polar ice caps might seem like a lengthy task
But with discount flights through Mango they’ll be sure to get there fast
They’ll buy ice blocks from petrol stations all over the world
They’ll drop them on the icebergs, polar bears will be thrilled
They’ll float to the ozone layer in a hot air balloon
They’ll harvest hot air from Gareth Cliff, they’re bound to get there soon
They’ll fill the ozone hole with all the rubbish from the dumps
Global warming and landfill problems will both be solved at once
It’s intermission impossible, an adventure of half time
They’ll be using that brief window to end poverty and crime
Intermission impossible, an adventure of half time
They’ll be solving the world’s problems while you’re drinking tea and wine
They’ll travel to the Middle East because it is at war
They’ll change the name to Middle Peace, why’s no-one thought of this before?
And while they’re there they’ll get South Africa to take over the mail
When terrorist videos get lost in the post, evil plans will surely fail
They’ll journey to the Amazon, the rainforests not quite saved yet
and while they’re there they can pick up discounts on
all their favourite DVD boxsets
It’s intermission impossible, an adventure of half time
They would help out Miley Cyrus but she insists she’s doing fine
Intermission impossible, an adventure of half time
Licking oil off the penguins before you hear the ushers chime
So next time you’re at a theatre and they make you leave your place
Remember that you’re helping the entire human race
And if you’re wondering who funds this special task force every night
Now you know the reason why the snacks are overpriced
