Words and Music by
DYLAN HICHENS AND SIMON VAN WYK

We’ve noticed something about ourselves when we are watching sport
Maybe it’s cause we’re not experts and our knowledge falls short
We’ve found that there is something more exciting than the score
And that’s when a player wrongs another, and it turns into a brawl

When we are watching football, we love an off-the-ball incident
Or when the striker trips the keeper but his hands plead innocence
We are never too impressed when a player puts in a header
But when he uses that head to head-butt, for us there’s nothing better

Or when the manager jumps up and spits in the other manager’s face
Or when the fans get too rowdy, and the cops bring out the mace
Or when a player is sent off because he’s left someone concussed
After the game these are the only highlights we discuss

When it comes to rugby, all we care about is blood
we love it when they kick each other ‘cause we know their boots have studs
Others like to celebrate when their team converts a try
We prefer to celebrate when we see that stretcher guy

And if we lived in Canada, I’m sure we’d watch ice hockey
We’d only cheer from the stands if things were getting rocky
We’d sit close to the ice and hope that as the players pass
One would shout out an insult and be slammed into the glass

When players throw punches we let out a joyful cry
There must be something wrong with us, ‘cause we can’t explain why

We’d never watch a boxing match, even though they’re paid to fight
We’d never watch a boxing match, even though it’s more morally right
We’d never watch a boxing match, unless they suddenly say
You have to watch a boxing match on every Boxing Day